I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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