He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
