Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
