You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
