I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
