someone get that fucking seahorse.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
