Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
