my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
