ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
