I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
