As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
