the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize