That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the day after is always just damage control
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
