So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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