Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
