He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
