why didn't you poke me back
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
