I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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