I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
