We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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