I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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