I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
