The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
