She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
