margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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