OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
