all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize