Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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