trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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