Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
