It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
