When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
