I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
