I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
