his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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