Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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