i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
