My sheets look like a crime scene.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
