He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
