all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
