I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
