just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
