If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
