that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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