Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
