I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
