we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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