we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
