i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
