did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
