Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
