your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
