break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you still have your period?
Someone shit on the floor
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
