Im at strip club and am horny
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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