I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize