I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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