I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
