he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
