apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i think i just lost a toe
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
