I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
