problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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