Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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