Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
