I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
