I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
