Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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