Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
