what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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