some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize