mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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