what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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